Holy matrimony (2)

If love makes the world go round then you know what turns it upside down…. (I think)

Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conners, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger, and nothing like Robert Redford--but you'll take him anyway.
-- Judith Viorst

In the end this is what I believe whether you are married or not……

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see each other whole against the sky.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke

The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back on at the end of life and number as their most sacred experiences.
-- Eugene Kennedy

But may you be warned again….

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of course.
-- Encyclopaedia Apocryphia

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do...."
-- Lenny Bruce


Some personal favourites…..

By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Now when I look at my parents and even my friend's parents and wonder how did they do it. Have another good laugh ya'll

Holy matrimony (1)

I wonder are events like marriage seasonal. Past few weeks, I either know someone who’s engage or is planning to. Some of my good friends are making the big leap while a few has already tied the knot and most of them are around my age i.e. below are average marrying age.

Since I’m not exactly the most qualified person of talk about this topic I did consult a few people who were. And some of them agreed with me on certain aspects of marriage…

Dating is more fun, right?

I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder

Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie

Well if you still want to get on with it here are a few comforting thoughts….

Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
-- Woody Allen

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled, "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.. -- Helen Roland.

Here's a good place to settle down and to bring the in laws.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd

I’m not trying to put anyone of commitment or to ridicule the institution. I saved the good stuff for the next post. Have a good laugh ya'll

To be con’t…..